so close yet so far

February always seems to drag. The weather can’t make up it’s mind, and the relief of spring seems so close yet so far. It’s nice to break up the monotony with some travel. In my case, instead of a sunny beach, I landed in Missouri for a short stay. For the past few days I’ve been in St. Louis visiting my mom. I grew up in this city, but since my mom moved after I started college, coming “home” has never really felt like “home.” Ironically, my mother moved into a 3 story house with 4 bathrooms in a much more hip neighborhood a year after I moved to NC for school. With one less person in the house, the upgrade was much needed. The room designated as “mine” in the new house is huge with it’s own bathroom. How I would have enjoyed that growing up. It’s not really my room, though. Sure, you can spot some of my children’s stories, a book on orchestral history, and as Spanish dictionary but it’s all decoration. It’s actually just a really nice guest room for all the guests we get (a few times a year)! Okay, that all sounds very catty. I’m very happy that my mom has a house she likes (she’s a great decorator). I actually think coming back to the home where I grew up would be too hard for me to deal with. Now, there is so much separation from that time in my life, that I don’t need to think about all of that. It’s strange how long ago that period of time in my life feels. I feel like everything has changed, and sometimes the past feels like a figment of my imagination.