It might as well be spring

Posted: March 16, 2011 in getting personal, Music

March is such a tease of a month. One day I’m wearing my down coat and the next sunglasses and no socks. Just like the weather, I’ve been in limbo lately. Unlike the weather, I haven’t been making it known. Since I don’t think many people read this blog…yet, I might as well write about it. I am unemployed. I’ve been pretty good about switching jobs smoothly when the time comes, but this time, I was unexpectedly dropped like an AT&T call when you’re driving through the canyon in LA. I was a Manhattan nanny for 2 kids–probably the most common job on the streets here. Anyway, given no notice and left jobless, I was pretty angry. I set out to find a job again. I should be a pro by now. I continued the daunting task of submitting heaps of resumes and applications. Let me tell you it is a job finding a job. I’m still applying. I turned to internships that are unpaid, and even that competition is rough. A sign of the state of our economy.
As I was writing a cover letter for a coordinator position of this 1 day summer solstice music festival in NYC, I thought about all the other positions I had applied to, and I wonder which lucky applicant got picked. This coordinator position sounds really great. It combines my experience I had during my year of service with my love for music. I just want to be in control of something! I want to see the successes of my work! I want to be paid! It would be pretty sweet to be a part of making such a music festival happen. So, I hit send for the umpteenth time and wished out loud that I would at least get an interview. I started biting my nail. I never bite my nails. Except I discovered when I have something on my mind, or I’m worried, or I’m concentrating on something that is bothering me, I bite this one nail, and out of all my nails, it’s such a bad one to bite. It’s my ring finger of my left hand. Doesn’t mean much to you, I’m sure. BUT this finger tends to swell up when the nail is too short and I play my bass. It’s actually gotten to the point where I couldn’t play at all, and I had to put ice on it. (Actually, it was in college, and I didn’t have ice so I improvised and used a can of whipped cream.)
Ugh. I bit this nail last week, too for another reason, and now I bit off the growth since last week. I have orchestra rehearsal tomorrow.

I’ll end with these lyrics: I am starry eyed and vaguely discontented, like a nightingale without a song to sing
O why should I have spring fever, when it isn’t even spring.

they don’t make ’em like this anymore it might as well be spring by one of my favorite voices-Sarah Vaughan

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